Meet Heimlich

So, our apartment has a new friend. His name is Heimlich. He is from Petsmart and he is staying with us for a few days until he becomes a birthday present for Cali's friend.

Guten Tag, ich heiße Heimlich.

Heimlich is a very talented fish. Let me relate an example of his great talent. This morning, my roommate fed him oatmeal flakes for breakfast (it's ok, fish can eat oatmeal). I was watching him eat, and he started opening his mouth really wide, and then he started rocking back and forth like a battering ram, and then his gills opened up all big-like, and then a HUGE piece of oatmeal flew out of his mouth.

Heimlich knows how to cough. What a smart fishy.

A special breed

I just got an email from a professor notifying the class that the study guide for our next exam has been posted. Two to three minutes after receiving that email, I got another email from a student in the class notifying everyone that she had posted the study guide on GoogleDocs so we could have an ongoing online collaborative study session for the exam. Within 120 seconds, this student had outperformed every other student in the class. This student can now smirk at all of us because she was the first one to take the initiative and post the study guide. What a peach.

She's not alone. In other classes, scattered across the campus, a few choice students are doing the same thing--putting everyone else to utter shame.

HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE BORN?

Seriously, in every single one of my classes, there's that one kid who has an answer to every question, has read all of the material twice before coming to class, and already has the next three assignments completed ahead of time. There's always that one kid who has made comparative charts and tables of last class's lecture, color-coded flow charts connecting information from the entire semester, and an entire binder full of supplementary articles that he/she printed off independent of the professor's requirements for the course. And, inevitably, that one kid will set the curve for the exam and get the top grade in the class. That one kid will get a 4.0 and graduate with honors and get a fab job where he/she will continue to outperform absolutely everyone.

There's always that one kid.

Here's the thing, though--the one thing that makes me feel glad that I am not that one kid:


Nobody likes that kid.

the world is puddle-wonderful

Science lesson

Fact: newspaper burns when lit with a match

Fact: the fumes from aerosol hairspray are flammable

Fact: burning paper torch + aerosol hairspray = flame thrower

Fact: the law of gravity states that large objects (the earth) exert a pull on smaller objects (smouldering newspaper bundles)

Fact: when objects fall through the air, they are exposed to oxygen

Fact: oxygen + falling, smouldering paper = ball of fire falling from balcony into pine needles on the ground

Fact: pine needles (and apartment buildings) burn

Fact: girls in heels (Averyl and Jessica) run really fast when burning objects need to be extinguished


Come back next week for another episode of Life Lessons in Science.

Raaaaar!!!

This post is entitled "Raaaaar!!!" because I am going to need a battle-cry for this week. This last week was definitely a battle-cry week, and also a mopey-cry week, and also a sleepy-cry week, and definitely a sad-cry week. My cries for this week are going to be battle-related, cuz I have a plethora of epic things planned.

Raaaaar!!!
(P.S. don't my legs look great in those pants?)

Tonight: sleepover with the roommates (we are sleeping on the floor for fun, and cuz we need to get up early tomorrow)

Tomorrow: wake up suuuuper early to write a paper that I should have written yesterday (Raaaaar!!!)

Tuesday: I'm pretty sure I'm going on a field trip to the county jail. We will see. If we do go, then most definitely Raaaaar!!! Jail can be scary, or so I hear.

Wednesday: Shopping for housing. Icky. I really need to find somewhere to live over the summer. Raaaaar!!!

I'm gonna stop there. My throat is getting sore from Raaaaar!!!-ing. Wish me luck! And here is a cry for all of you who are going to have an epic week....

Raaaaar!!!

"I said one day, we're going to have this experience."

On Monday morning, I woke up dead, much like Michael Jackson (<--- click on da link) did several months ago. Despite the fact that I was dead, I still had to go to the gym, do my homework, go to class, then work, then to the library, etc. This process continued for the rest of the week, even though I had perished before the work week even began. That is what I call unfair. Dead people should not have to go to school or work or the library.

I DEMAND JUSTICE.

(So does she. Don't mess.)

So maybe I didn't actually wake up dead. It sure felt like it, though. My energy levels have been in the negative range all this week. Negative energy = dead. I feel like the universe is expending energy on me in order to decompose my lifeless body. But perhaps exaggeration does not become me.

The POINT IS, I am ready for this weekend. It is going to be a difficult weekend because, hey, such is life (thanks, Averyl), and there ain't nothin' I can do about it except try to have a rockin' time.

Tonight: Chinese New Year Dinner. Gung hey fat choy, y'all.
Tomorrow: Early V-Day celebration
Sunday: Church and relaxation
Monday: Shopping with pals (and study study study study)

Buh-ring it awn, world.

Waffles

This is David.

David likes waffles.

David really likes maple syrup.

David also likes Jessica.
Jessica likes waffles.

Jessica also likes David.

*Sorry for the cheesy cutesie-ness of this post, but last night's date was really fun, so I wanted to blog about it. That is all.

Field trip folly

I cannot believe it is only Tuesday.

Guess what happened this morning!

I am in a social work class and this week we are supposed to go on a "field trip" to a food bank/social services center here in Provo. This morning, I got into my cute little car and puttered over to the location of said field trip. I waited around for my classmates. Nobody showed up. I figured maybe they were inside, so I went inside the building. None of my classmates were there, but there were plenty of people sitting in chairs and staring at me, wondering what in the world I was doing.

Turns out the field trip is on Thursday.


Cooool.

I cannot believe it's only Tuesday.

What a week this has been.